I was recently told by a friend/coworker (“German” of the previous post) that there are three questions that you should always ask someone when you first meet them. This subject came up when we were discussing the newest addition to our crew at work, a sweet girl who shall hence forth be called Britta (which reminds me of both Community and water…which have nothing to do with the girl). Anyway, German hadn’t met Britta yet, so he poses this question:
“Would I like her?”
Now, I knew he didn’t mean in a would-I-date-her sense, but instead in a would-I-feel-the-need-to-harass-her sense. I didn’t think so, but I wasn’t sure. I told him so.
“Well, did you ask her The Questions?”
Being puzzled by this, I took the bait.
“What questions would those be?”
“Whenever you meet someone, you need to ask them three questions: Are you straight? Pirate or Ninja? Are you Jewish?”
Needless to say, I wasn’t impressed. Just as needless to express, I let him know he was being an idiot. (As for the Jewish question, I still haven’t figured out why he’s harassing Jewish people at the moment…he doesn’t even know any Jewish people, nor is he aware of ever having met one. Classy, German—classy.) Anyway, this all made him realize that he had never asked me the all-important pirate or ninja question (yes, I’m being sarcastic), so he asks:
“Ruby! Pirate or ninja!”
“Whoa, I need some qualifiers: are we talking Dr. McNinja or Batman ninjas? Somali or ye-olden day’s pirates?”
He then explained this whole cultural phenomenon of which I have been as near to oblivious as possible. Apparently (for those of you as behind as myself), a pirate takes what they want while a ninja takes what they need. When it was put to me that way, I instantly claimed a pirate’s heritage. Yes, I would drive a car that takes an exorbitant amount of gas if I had oodles of money and desired it. Ahoy.
On to Neil Gaiman, one of my new favorite writers for easy reading. You may or may not be aware of a Paramount film from 2007 entitled “Stardust,” based on a novel of the same name by Gaiman. I wasn’t aware of it when it first came out, but it really had quite the impressive cast: Michele Pfeiffer, Claire Danes, Rupert Everett, Peter O’Toole, Ben Barnes, Sienna Miller, Robert De Niro and even Ian McKellen played parts in the film. I was instantly captivated by the film’s dark sense of humor and foreboding use of magic. It certainly isn’t for everyone—I think it’s one of those pieces that you either love dearly or hate with a passion. Anyway, after seeing a review of the novel Stardust on a blog, I renewed my interest in actually reading the novel itself. This set me on a half-hearted quest to my library, where all that I kept uncovering was some trashy mystery novel. However, I finally had success this past Tuesday when I was able to recall Gaiman’s name, and thus I located a little trove of his novels buried in the bowels of a dusty recess in the Adult Fiction section in the basement. Ah-ha! I quickly pulled out a tall, illustrated copy of my target, Stardust, but then paused to examine his other titles present—and I’m still happy that I did. “Neverwhere” stood out to me, for some reason, as being just the right book to sink my teeth into for a little dessert reading. My instinct couldn’t have been more correct. Neil Gaiman, your gruesome depictions, your thrilling magic, your utterly human characters—they all have made me fall in love with your style. “Neverwhere” was violent and at times chilling—verging on madness, as well—but I’ve always savored stories like that, I suppose. I like the idea of goblin-esque creatures, of a new breed of vampire (called “Velvets”—these sassy creatures predate Twilight, and their style of sucking the life out of people is so much classier than Myers), of great hunters to kill beasts of mythical proportions—it’s the stuff of legends. As a disclaimer to those of you who might consider picking it up: I really, really tend to like morbid books. I relish dystopian novels, I bask in Agatha Christie’s ingenious murder novels, I…really get a kick out of creepy books, okay? (Oh, and if you’re averse to reading any strong language, this isn’t the book for you—it does come up a few times.) I haven’t actually finished Stardust, so I’m holding back my judgment on it; all I can say is that it is definitely one the most creative and original fairy stories I’ve ever encountered.
In short, do NOT ask The Three Questions of anyone, and check out Neil Gaiman...if you dare.
5 comments:
Stardust... I actually saw that in theaters. What begins as an interesting and occasionally funny fantasy adventure movie for the first half goes on to become just another sappy over-the-top sentimental chick flick that happens to have some magic in it for the second. As I havn't read the book, I'll reserve judgement on that.
The book was...very different. Less sentimental, in what I've found to be Gaiman's style...Hm. I haven't decided what to make of it yet. I loved the movie because it felt fresh, like a new take on fantasy. That's rare.
I'll admit its a unique fantasy flavor, but bear in mind that fantasy by very nature tends to have a level of uniqueness - a new form of fantasy isn't much more significant than a new form of snowflake. Fantasy can't get too many props for orginality; it's a matter of the quality of the take itself. Stardust has a unique and enjoyable flavor for most of it, but the sedimentality ruins it near the end. (and British accents always seem to make sentimentality worse)
American accents DEFINITELY make sentimentality worse!! :)
Having said that the 'British accents' in Stardust aren't representative of 99.999% of our dear population... And Sienna Miller makes me want to puke.
I'm with you on Gaiman though, he's brill. Although Coraline seemed lacking in suspense after watching the film. Hmm.
I agree with you on the accents, Kate O! Everything sounds base with an American accent.
I haven't delved into Coraline yet, but I'll be sure to read first, watch later.
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